Friday, April 06, 2007

Wingardium Leviosa...

This new technology still baffles me. I can barely understand how words and pictures can be stored on what is basically a cheap piece of plastic. I certainly don't understand how information can spirit its way through the ether and land on someone else's laptop. It still amazes me that I can send a document to someone and it can arrive there seconds later, without me schlepping out to the post office to photocopy it, put a stamp on it, find out a week later it hasn't arrived and then go through the whole damn process again. I feel like my mother trying to programme our 1980s video recorder. I don't like not knowing how things work, but I fear I will never get my head around this World Wide Webulator malarkey. It may as well be magic.

My son spends half of his time living with his lovely dad, eight miles away from my house. He is now at secondary school - I still call it 'big school' much to his disdain - which means that lovely dad and I spend half of our lives ferrying books, rugby kit, uniforms and other associated school miscellany back and forth from house to house. It is becoming a pain in the arse. A few weeks ago I got home to a desperate call from him when I returned home from an evening session at 10pm.

"Mum! My English assignment is on a floppy disk on my desk. I NEED IT FOR TOMORROW! You will have to drive over with it in the morning before school."

I work two evenings a week until 9pm, which means that two mornings a week I get a bit of a lie-in and potter around the house until I start work in the afternoon. This should have been one such morning. I waved bye-bye to my lie-in, and sought out the floppy disk.

(In my defence, at this point I did wonder why he had put it on a floppy disk and even where he had found one. I haven't used floppies for years, and somewhere in the confusion at the back of my head was a suspicion that there was a better way to do this. I was tired though, and ignored the nag. Silly me.)

I was up at 7 the next morning, so I could drop it off in time for him to print it out for school. As I drove over to his dad's, there was still a nagging doubt that this was a ridiculous thing to do. I was also pissed off, however, at missing out on my lie-in and having to negotiate the morning madness on the roads.

His dad answered the door, with a very broad grin. And then....very clicked...into... place.....


"Email" I said.

"Email indeed!" said his dad.

Son took the floppy disc off me, looking a little shame-faced if truth be known. At least I have an excuse. I am old-fashioned. This is not my world. But heaven knows it is his - he spends half his life on the computer-box.

Next time I saw my son he had bought a memory stick. Well done, son.

Note to self: ignore nagging doubts at your peril.

(And if anyone knows of a way to transport a rugby kit by email, could they please let me know?)


That's so pants said...

Awww. I thought maybe for a minute it was a ploy to lure you to a surprise champagne breakfast and you had forgotten your birthday. A tip about memory sticks - they are even easier to leave behind because they are a lot smaller. Why isn't he storing everything on MySpace or Gmail?

Re rugby kit - if you let it get dirty enough it can walk there itself.

Ms Melancholy said...

Hey Pants, good advice about the rugby kit! I am a total slattern so that is highly likely anyway. MySpace or Gmail? Never thought of that....of course I didn't, I have no idea what you are talking about, actually. He has his memory stick on his keyring, along with keys to both houses. If he loses that his life will not be worth living!

Caroline said...


*Caroline smiles and goes to play Guitar Hero*

We are kindred spirits.


Reading the Signs said...

It won't be long now, Ms M. Soon, soon we will be able to beam ourselves and/or rugby kit to wherever we choose just as they did in Star Trek. We will just have to *think* rugby kit and it will manifest just like in, er, Harry Potter. You'll find me in the Leady Cauldron.

Reading the Signs said...

Leaky, I mean. I have had too much coffee at my neighbour's hot cross bun party (life in the sticks rocks, you know) and feel as though I have taken amphetamines. Whatever they are.

Dandelion said...

A memory stick won't help him to remember though, will it?

Re. mySpace, Ms M, something which is online can be got from anywhere with an internet connection.

Aaron said...

myspace is soooo yesterday.

Facebook n are "way cool" today, though not tomorrow.

Hello y'all!

Aaron said...


Had to change my handle from tyger to aaron for another project (a collaboration).


Caroline said...

Tyger is now Aaron.


I need to lie down.


brumcunian said...

How to email a rugby kit the 2007 way. Prior to the invention of portals as we have seen in 'The Fly' or 'Star Trek' there is always ebay.

Picture the scene. In two days time your son needs his rugby kit delivered spick and span to his lovely dads address. You want your lie in prior to work and cant be bothered doing the washing. Register on ebay or whichever online store does the necessary kit. Order it allowing time for delivery and get it delivered to lovely dads address. Sorted.

Ms Melancholy said...

Lovely Caroline, I am in good company it seems. Thank you so much x

Hi Signs, you know, I think you might be right about the teleporting thing. Remember when video phones were a futuristic fantasy? As for the coffee, it has much the same effect on me. We are cheap dates these days, aren't we? x

Hi Dandelion - the bit I forgot to say is that his memory stick is attached to his key ring, therefore goes everywhere with him. But thanks for the heads up on MySpace and will certainly let him know. He will work it out himself, I guess. At the moment he is too into Runescape to get into MySpace, and for that I am glad. x

Hey Tyger - do you have Dissociative Identity Disorder? Or do you just like to upset lovely Caroline? I shall pass on your recommendations to the 11 yr old, who can suss it all out for himself. I am way beyond these things. I can hardly believe that I manage blogger, to be honest with you. BTW, I hope you are getting handsomely paid for working on a bank holiday ;)

Hi again Brum, you certainly get the prize for the most novel solution to the rugby kit dilemma. It seems that it may involve parting with money every week though, which is where your cunning plan falls down. Nice idea though. x

brumcunian said...

e-mailing a rugby kit version 2.0. Shell out only once for a second rugby kit. Leave the exact replica kit at lovely dads house and the original at yours. Therefore a clean kit at each address at any one given time. My work here is done.

Ms Melancholy said...

Yes, Brum, you would think that would work, wouldn't you. But it doesn't. I can't explain why, but the logistics are such that we end up with both kits at one house and still having to ferry it around. But I am so touched that you are trying to resolve my dilemma! x

brumcunian said...

I'm a good mate of 'stray's'. I linked to your blog via her. Any mate of stray's is a mate of mine and I shall come up with a conclusive rugby kit dilemma solution. It is my mission in life. Or at least while I am on annual leave until Wednesday! x

Anonymous said...

Dirty rugby kit? The socks can be turned inside out and providing the shorts don't have pockets, likewise.

If the rugby shirt has a white band on the inside (I guess it does) then he ought to have one clean rugby shirt left in his locker at school, that is his responsibility

Ms Melancholy said...

Hey Brum, I am most touched. And any mate of Stray's etc etc.... Believe me though, the only solution is for son to carry said rugby kit to school and then transfer to dad's, which he does most of the time.

Which leads to me to Ad - another tyke! Good to meet you. Yes, a school locker would provide a solution. However, there are no lockers at his school, despite many requests from parents to provide them. He carries a bag to school that is so heavy he is in danger of a shoulder injury. Hence we do the ferrying. If you live in the Dales I suspect you may have sympathy with my latest post?

Anonymous said...

Hi Ms. Mel, I am aware of the shoulder problems, when I was at school, a satchel full of text books wrapped in brown paper along with exercise books pencils, pens and packed lunch was on one shoulder, rugby kit and boots, tracksuit and towel in sports bag on the other. The only modern day solution I can think of is to wear rucksacks that fit front and back, similar to wearing a parachute on the back and the emergency 'chute on the front. In fact you could probably ride a cycle with such an arrangement tho' it still doesn't broach the rugby kit problem, does it?

A matter for the PTA to involve themselves with?

Ms Melancholy said...

Hi again ad, yes, the PTA are on to it....

Dandelion said...

Oooh, Runescape! I've wasted many an hour on that. At the moment I'm focussing on my craft and fishing skills.

PurpleSparkleBright said...

Whiffy Rugby kit? try Febreze :)
I would like to email myself to work. But, would I have to give the computer a cup of tea before I could email myself, and would the computer have to take a shower and pack my bag?