Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Sometimes I Am Lazy (Part 2)

I am currently gestating a post about CBT and Humanistic psychotherapy (is gestating really a verb?) but I am still feeling as though I have consumed the entire contents of the hotel mini bar lazy after my wild weekend away. So thank you so much to the delightful Bindi for rescuing me with a meme – 5 things I am obsessed with - a cheap and cheerful way of ending a blogging drought if ever there was one. I was reminded that Stray also tagged me some time ago with 5 things you don’t know about me. So to demonstrate my utter laziness I will combine the two of them: 5 things you don’t know about me, which I occasionally obsess about. (I remember, Atyllah, that you also tagged me with a list of most interesting questions whilst I was sunning myself in Spain, which I confess I can’t find anywhere. If ever they turn up I promise I will reply to that one at some lazy point in the future.)

5 things you don’t know about me, which may be deemed ‘obsessions’ if you were to use the concept very loosely:

  • I have a weird concept of personal space. If I like you, then I like to touch you when I talk to you and will hug you randomly and without warning. I may kiss you and try to hold your hand. It can be very annoying. If I don’t know you then I require an enormous amount of personal space and get most pissed off if you step into it. I will keep stepping backwards until I have regulated the required distance between us. Please do not follow me. I find it most intrusive. This is not exactly an obsession, but it is something that I am keen on.
  • I can get into an inappropriate rage in shops when people give me my change in the wrong way: the wrong way is to put note and/or receipt into my hand and then pile the loose change on top of it, thus making it very difficult to put the money back into my purse as the other hand is usually occupied with a bag containing the items I have just purchased. The correct way is to give me my loose change first, and then allow me to take note and/or receipt between thumb and forefinger. This is the purpose of opposable thumbs. This is definitely an obsession. I have been known to tell people off for doing this, if I am in a particularly intolerant mood. I really do believe that check out assistants should be trained in the correct way to give change to people. Really, I do. I may even write to my local supermarket.
  • Perhaps my only true obsession is my bath fetish. I have to end each day laying in a very hot bath. It doesn’t matter how late it is, how tired or drunk I am, whose house I may be staying in or how hot it has been during the day. I read in the bath, I write blog posts in the bath, I do the Guardian crossword in the bath and I have even been known to entertain friends whilst in the bath. (Only very close friends, of course. I am not an exhibitionist.) I went to Central America a few years ago on holiday – hot, humid, sticky, sweaty, tropical heat – and was beside myself that the hotel room had a bath. I bathed every night. The Husband thought I was insane. This leads on to the fact that I…
  • …feel the cold terribly and hibernate in winter. Winter evenings see my sitting on the sofa in my thermals, woolly jumper, bed socks, blanket round my shoulders, central heating on and wood-burner blazing. The Husband is usually in his underwear, begging for mercy. I am, therefore, obsessed with heat and sunshine and this in turn translates into many foreign trips a year. I apologise for my carbon footprint. I recycle and drive a very small car in an attempt to compensate. Pathetic, I know.
  • I have a secret crush on Stray at Daily Straying. She doesn’t know. So please don’t anybody mention it.

I tag the Lovely Caroline. She has Blogger's Droop and may appreciate the help.


38 comments:

trousers said...

Interesting post, and nice to see you back! I'm keeping my comments brief though,

a) because I am having an early night

b) Caroline is in need of you on her current thread, you must pop over!

I share your annoyance about the change giving (though less intensely). Clean, crisp paper money practically guarantees that the change slides right out of your hand.

I think, on the other hand, that I would be much happier as regards life in general if I had a bath in which to immerse myself at least once daily.

Ms Melancholy said...

Trousers, you are now officially my new crush, along with Stray. Your pop psychology is fabulous. You have been reading Jung, I think. (Speaking of crushes, where is Ducky these days?)

Stray said...

Omg. OMG. OH MY GOD.

I have exploded. Out of happiness.

I don't think anybody has ever had a crush on me before. I thought I was uncrushable!

:)

I am grinning like an idiot.

Thank you for doing my meme ... the change thing is very true - and annoys the hell out of me. I am similar about my personal space ...

I will warm the octagon for you. Actually - at this time of year you would love it. Love it! The octagonal skylight turns the place into a sauna. :)

Baths rock.

Oh ms m. A crush? On me? I am skipping (psychic skipping) out of joy!

Sx

Jude said...

I love to be warm and I love the summer. So this translates at this time of year into many layers.

Not necessarily stylish....

I have a severe personal space thing going on. Many years of therapy necessary - NO ONE, and I mean no one, is allowed to invade my personal space without permission unless we are family. I regularly find myself backing into walls as I speak to people. Even with close friends I can find my space invaded.

But I am very tactile.

How does that work?

Sorry to ask for free therapy on your first night back

;-)

Ms Melancholy said...

Lovely Stray, the octagon sounds just fab: warm, it has guitar hero and you and badger for company. Aren't crushes great? Hope you don't mind sharing with trousers. (Oh, and I just remembered, I told Pony Boy I was in lust with him earlier. Seems I am in that kind of a mood tonight. ;) )

Lovely Jude, yes, the personal space thing is wierd. I have a close friend - the one who often shares the bathroom with me - and we often snuggle up when we talk. But sometimes I need a mile and a half and get very cross if it gets invaded. Especially in queues. I can't bear flying for that same reason. I need a whole row to myself. I once flew by myself and told the man next to me to stop talking to me. He was offended. I didn't care. No therapy here, I'm afraid. I'm as confused as you are. ;)

Stray said...

Ms M, any crush is appreciated ... even a half crush that may be gone by the morning. So, no, I don't mind sharing at all if trousers doesn't object either.

The octagon is all ready for you ... and we have a lovely sixties low-set bath ... for you to do the Guardian crossword in.

Sx

The Moon Topples said...

I knew someone with Blogger's Droop once. Shame, really.

Nice to see you back.

The Moon Topples said...

And as for your crushes, I seem to recall a proposal floating even my way, once upon a time. You are very free in your crushes indeed.

trousers said...

Aw, the pleasure's all mine Ms M! Well mine and stray's anyway - no I don't mind sharing!

Ms Melancholy said...

Ah, Mr Moon, you have me sussed, I think. I am generous with my crushes and my proposals of marriage. More than generous, in fact. Caroline says I am fickle. I don't think I am, I just like to collect crushes. You are still on my list, you know....x

Apotheosis said...

No, no, nothing wrong with what you are expecting. FIRST the bloody change, THEN the paper stuff. You women have purses, too. Imagine us men trying to put whatever the hell ended up like that in our palm, in our jeans pocket.

Kostas (www.sarampalis.org)

Caroline said...

Oh a tag!
I will consider it. Wish I'd known before I did my crap post on beetroot today :)

Ms Mmmmmm - your crushes make me smile. I have been known to have the odd blogger crush myself, although I am trying to control them ....

I too have problems with heat. My children and husband moan about the heating being too high and then open windows to prevent their melting, whilst I sit wrapped in a duvet shivering that it is too cold. And personal space wise - if I like someone I get very close and if I don't, I am pure ice. There is no middle ground.

I'll go now before I say too much.
xxxx

Ms Melancholy said...

Hey ap, I think there are a number of us out there with the change thing. Perhaps we could start a pressure group? Or perhaps we should just breathe more deeply?

Hi lovely Caroline, I am a bit concerned at my current crush-fest. I shall take myself away and have some serious words with myself, before acting out my pathology in such a public space. ('tit-being-ness' is a great word, by the way.)

nmj said...

Hey lovely Ms M, I am with you & Caroline on the hot/cold thing, I have no middle ground either.

And I usually just throw my change into my bag because it is too stressful trying to separate the coins from the notes, especially if there is a queue behind you.

Böbø said...

Dear darling Ms M. Dr Böbø is also considering your whole crushfest / can't be arsed thing and will also be having serious words.

But nice serious ones ♥ x ♥

brumcunian said...

God this place has turned in to blogger speed dating meets psychotherapy. It's certainly different anyway! I agree about the personal space thing. I freak out in crowds thanks to a couple of incidents in town and I need my 'personal bubble' unless it's someone that I really know well and feel comfortable with.

As for the coins first, notes last thing... I totally agree. I tend to be vindictive and present my money to known 'coin/note' offenders in the form of note first, coins second. When they fumble cash in to the till I ask if I can have my change given to me properly from now on.

Baths... I used to have a hot tub. Sadly it was the first fimnancial cut following my wife moving out. I miss it. You can't beat a good bath. But I'm more a fan of the cold myself which is weird seeing as I'm Australian by descent. I'm fair skinned and end up looking permanently sunburned/embarassed when I tan rather than going a healthy brown.

As for the crush on stray thing... I think my display image gives it away that she might not be my type. No offence stray! ;o)

Ms Melancholy said...

Hi nmj - I so felt for you when your boiler was down in winter. I don't know how many layers I would have to wear to get over that one. I would probably just stay in bed, to be honest. Funny how these things always happen in winter?

Hey BoBo, please be gentle with me. I am only having some innocent fun ;)

Hey Brum, I think you are onto something with the dating meets psychotherapy angle. I have often wondered about opening up a dating agency with a therapeutic angle. I love playing matchmaker. Wonder if I might be on to something? As for the hot tub, you have my full sympathy. It sounds fantastic.

nmj said...

Oh, Ms M, I see now you thought I meant room temperature (and that is true too), but I was meaning more my warmth towards people, I am lovely or I am aloof, maybe even an iceberg, I find middleground quite hard x

Ms Melancholy said...

Oh, nmj, I am so literal sometimes! You may wonder how I ever manage to be a therapist! Yes, the personal warmth thing. Middle ground is hard. It so often looks like blandness, I think, when it really doesn't have to be. We need to regulate our contact with others. It's what makes us human.

b said...

I have to ask, what happens if you stay somewhere without a bath? or do you make sure that never happens? :)

I must disagree about the change thing. I prefer to have it all piled; that way I can slide the change into the coin section of my wallet before putting coins and notes into that bit. There should be some kind of international sign so the cashier knows which one to do. Would save so much hassle...!

swimmer6foot4 said...

Thanks for your blog, Ms M. I have arthritis and feel exactly the same about the temperature. Furthermore, it bugs me rotten when foreigners (my South American bf included) keep going on about how disgusting it is to sit in a bath full of dirty water. What they fail to grasp is that we sit in the bath for cultural reasons (relaxation, isolation, sex, grooming, intimacy, etc) and not, primarily, to get clean.

Shop workers MUST ALWAYS give back change in the following way: They should state the amount of the item you have just purchased and then, holding the loose change in their right hand, they should put the smallest denomination coin into the palm of your right hand and count up, then the next largest denomination coin and so on, until they reach a rounded amount, then (taking paper money from their left hand, putting it into their right hand) count out into your palm the smallest denomination note followed by the next largest, and so on, until they count up to the amount that you gave them in the first place.

Example: you give someone a £20 note for an item costing £3.25 (saying, "sorry, that's the smallest I've got").

They must give you a 5p coin (and say "That is 3.30"), then a 20p coin (and say "That is 3.50"), then a 50p coin (and say "That is four pounds"), then a £1 coin (and say "That is five pounds"), then a £5 note (and say "That is ten pounds") followed finally by a £10 note (and say "That is twenty pounds"). They can omit "That is" as and when it is appropriate. They finish with giving you the receipt, unfolded and the right way up (and after you have put your money away) and then they thank you and smile.

Any service below this level should result in them being hung, drawn and quartered (says liberal-minded me). Easy going, aren't I?

Alternatively, if they fail to satisfy, one can tip them with the following note. Personally, I'd like to see someone do a PhD on the subject. The best I can muster is a reference to the Girls Guide to Money Etiquette and, quite frankly, I should have more important books to buy for my shelves at the moment.

Now please, (pretty please) pull your finger out and write something on CBT and on registration - or I'll be forced write something on my blog (and that would be blotting my copy book, wouldn't it, writing on my virgin blog!)

Ms Melancholy said...

Hey b, no, I can happily stay somewhere without a bath. I just find it particularly pleasurable when I get home and can have one again. Apartments abroad often don't have a bath, but I can make do with the sea or a swimming pool. In fact, a very warm swimming pool is even more bliss - especially if I am the only person in it. On the change thing: you are clearly wierd. Read Swimmer's comments - he has it sussed.

Hey, Swimmer, you get the bath thing! Fab. Non-bathers just don't understand, do they? As for the change, well, you are so on the mark. I grew up in a small corner shop, and this is exactly how we were taught to give change back to the customers. Count it all out and let them put the 'copper' (as my mum called all loose change) away before handing over the notes. Wait patiently, don't rush people, and always say 'thank you very much' before moving on to the next person. There is always a reason for our little hang-ups, isn't there?

Hoping to get CBT post up today..... look forward to your views on registration! Mine changing rapidly.

Reading the Signs said...

I am fascinated by the detail of you writing your blog posts while in the bath. I will never picture you in the same way now!

Ms Melancholy said...

Hey Signs, I write them in my head several times before they are on the computer. Really, please don't try to picture me with my laptop in the bath! In fact, just don't try to picture me in the bath, OK?!

bindi said...

Hi Ms M. Glad to see your bloggers droop fixed. I'm trying to think of the opposite to bloggers droop and I'm stuck on 'erect' which doesn't fit all, at all...

Many of my friends are lizards also, but I do not like heat. I like to be slightly cold and often work late at night after the central heating is off and think best at this time. When I come to bed the hubby rejects me because my body is icicle-like. Even so I like to warm my feet on his back.

I am exactly the same with personal space, too close sometimes but backing away at others.

As for baths, well I am a bit of a grub. I had washing, and when I go camping am quite happy about wearing thermals to prevent my legs sticking together, rather than washing, as some of my more obsessive friends do (even at degrees below zero - can't understand that at all).

bindi said...

... i mean 'hate' washing, not 'had' washing

swimmer6foot4 said...

Reading the signs and Ms M please note that writing in the bath can be quite easy - if you have the right technology. I frequently get carried away and "write" thousands of words in the bath (problem is, it's thousands of words of rubbish). Oh! and I know of at least one blogger - Irish Eyes who writes her blog using this technology ('though I've never asked her if it is actually written in the bath).

Ms Melancholy said...

Hey Bindi, thanks for the tag - it dug me out of a hole.

Hey Swimmer, you are a total star. I know now that I can rely on you for a great link and a solution to any problem. I write things in my head, and they go through several incarnations before I put anything on paper (or Word, rather). But this may be a great solution. Thinking out loud....

That's so pants said...

Ms M. Great to have you back - and in such fine form. This is very, very funny.

Ms Melancholy said...

Hey Pants, ta! x

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