Sunday, February 25, 2007

More Blogs I Like....

I was going to do a serious post today, but I find that my serious self stayed in bed this morning. So here are a few blogs that I have 'discovered' recently and am enjoying immensely.

La Que Sabe has a personal style that is both inviting and enjoyable, and she always responds to you if you comment which I am finding more and more important as I visit other blogs. Dialogue is a crucial part of blogging, don't you think?

Dandelion has just introduced herself over here, and her blog, Lonesome Ocean is a fascinating insight into the world of polyamory. A well written and stimulating 'personal experience' blog, which I will be visiting regularly from now on.

BoBo Hits Back is another psychotherapy blog, this time from a trainee therapist. Most psychotherapy blogs are extremely dry and impersonal, concentrating purely on theoretical discussion. I can see that therapists might feel the need to maintain a 'professional' stance and not share their personal stuff. But for me, this is the joy of blogging. I can afford to expose the personal side of being a therapist as I remain anonymous, and as long as I behave ethically (ie not discussing individual clients) I don't have a problem with mixing the personal and the professional. BoBo also takes this position and it makes for a funny, informative, well-written and sometimes challenging blog.

Los Angelista's Guide To The Pursuit Of Happiness is another lovely mix of the personal and the political from across the pond. I like the insight it offers into American culture(s) and it is a most enjoyable read.

Days With The Kids is quite a new blog, and although Boris is not blogging frequently I do have a particular soft spot for blokes who write personal style blogs. He describes himself as a 43 yr old whinge bag and works in alternative health care, so he must be a good guy. His blog is funny, political, personal and well-written.

PS. I have taken a couple of blogs off my blog roll because they don't allow comments. The more I blog, the more I think the dynamic nature of it is vital for me. In fact, I don't understand why people would bother to write a blog but not allow people to comment on it. I have made an exception for the eccentric but gorgeous Periodic Englishman, who regularly disables his comments and then hides in other people's blogs waiting to be found. He is surely the uber-commentator of the blogworld, and for that I will forgive his disabling habit.


Atyllah said...

Thanks for the heads up - off to take a browse.

Ms Melancholy said...

Ooh, great! I think you will really like Lonesome Ocean for your research into the human condition. She is wonderfully frank and serious and funny all at the same time.

Caroline said...

Just what I need - more distraction. Fabulous!

charlotte said...

I've come to your blog via some Web leaping and have been enjoying you recent posts. I am now de-lurking to say thanks for the links, and that I agree that commenting and responding to comments is a great part of blogging. When I started a year ago, it was because I wanted to write more and now a large part of why I blog is the connections and the relationships that evolve over time. I never would have guessed that it's the human aspect of blogging that keeps me at it!

nmj said...

Ms M, I may need some rage therapy, my comment has been swiped by some software thief, so now I shall take a deep breath & start again.

I find it odd when people disable comments (except of course dippy PE) unless they have been getting abusive comments, then I could totally understand it. Maybe for some, seeing their thoughts displayed in a blog is enough, with the possiblity that there are readers, they just don't need/want the interaction.

Although, there are blogs that I read often, but don't often feel the need to comment on them. Some blogs lend themselves more readily to comments than others.

Conversely, I find it bizarre when blogs get upwards of 60/70 comments daily, I see this on French blogs, I would find this so exhausting. (I believe the French blog more than any other country.)

And I see lovely Charlotte has snuck in since I started this comment, but it is a teensy wee bit sad when you click on her and she has no blog, more a platform for commentary. I feel a bit disappointed when this happens, irrational I know. But I understand why people do this, and it is better than commenting anonymously.

But, yes, blogging would be pretty pointless if there was no interaction, it would be one big act of vanity.

I am reminded of when I had just started blogging, a woman named Catherine commented, and I went to her blog and realised halfway through her posts that she was a man. I was freaked out. S/he also had some posts about kidnapping Kate Winslet & pretending she was a mermaid. Bizarre.

Dandelion said...

Thank you, Ms M for your kind words, not to mention the link.

And I quite agree about the comment aspect. V.Imp.

Liz said...

You are so right about the commenting thing. I always like it when folks leave me comments...I have to get better at responding to them though. Thanks for the shout out on my little blog over here in LA!

Ms Melancholy said...

Caroline, sorry for the distraction. As if Arsenal v Chelsea wasn't enough.

Hi Charlotte, and thanks for de-lurking. Did you know that your name doesn't link to your blog, which is a shame as I always like to know as much as possible about the folks who stop by here? I am irredeemably nosy, you see. I agree with you about the relational aspect. It is a truly unique medium in that respect, and that is what keeps me blogging. Pop back and let us know the name of your blog...

Hi nmj - I'm afraid anger management is not my forte, really. I do it with some clients, but I am always just so tempted to join in and have a rant of my own I sometimes feel rather hypocritical. I take an unusual approach but it usually works. I know what you mean about the commenting - I won't always leave comments although I visit all the blogs on my blog roll at least once a week. I just want to have the opportunity to comment.

Dandelion, you are very welcome. See you again soon.

Hi Liz, yours is one of those blogs that I read regularly, but don't always comment. I do enjoy peeping through the window into LA life, though.

swimmer6foot4 said...

I agree with Caroline; an excellent selection of distractionary activity.

I wonder: is dialogue, and a dynamic relationship between blog author and reader, necessary to keep a blog healthy?

I contribute (artwork) to two blogs that receive several hundred visitors every day - but don't permit feedback - in large part because they were inundated with spam. Yet visitors come in their hundreds, sometimes thousands.

Yet my favourites are blogs such as these, where the comments can be as insightful, entertaining, moving and amusing, as the initial contribution itself (sorry, ms M).

I suppose the beauty of the net is that it meets so many different and varied needs and allows so many differing talents to blossom. Some flourish from writing blogs and others from contributing.

nmj writes (in the nicest possible terms) of Charlotte: "it is a teensy wee bit sad when you click on her and she has no blog, more a platform for commentary"

Similarly, sometime back Ms Pants caught me out with her comment: "I'm curious. You write a lot on other people's blogs but none on your own, and ask a lot of questions. Why is that?"

I feel that there is something safe and comforting about writing on someone else's blog, rather than having to make a stand (and risk getting shot down) by writing on one's own.

I'm not normally a big fan of the old Myers Briggs personality profile but I'd be interested if there were an assessment of those that write just blogs, those that just comment and those (like the terribly well-balanced Ms M) who do both!

What do you think?

Ms Melancholy said...

I like it when you call in Mr Swimmer, as you always engage in a debate which I guess is my point. You say:

I wonder: is dialogue, and a dynamic relationship between blog author and reader, necessary to keep a blog healthy?

I think if a blog is expressing opinion on something, then for me there needs to be dialogue. One of the blogs I have just taken off is a feminist blog - they posted regularly and I was very frustrated at not being able to engage with them on certain issues. I know blogs like that get a lot of stick, but there are ways to filter out those who just seek to be offensive.

I can see how a picture blog can flourish, however, without comment. Its a different medium and I suppose the need to debate and discuss is less (although being entirely ignorant on visual arts I really have no idea...)

Its an interesting thought, as to how Myers Briggs would apply here. When I first started blogging I imagined there would be a lot of aggressive commenting, and actually I haven't come across any apart from on the solely political blogs. I find I get bored with that very quickly - it just feels like same-old-same-old male posturing. so not sure if there is a 'type' that blogs or not...

Why do you not blog more often? Your comments are always thoughtful and invite discussion - or do you prefer to stay a little elusive and hard to find???

La-que-sabe said...

Hello Ms. M. Thank you for that vote of confidence! I feel famous :)

Because my blog is a 'little blog' and I don't get hits into the 100's very often, I'm always hugely excited to see comments from people. Even if it's my best friend dropping in to say hello. It's a concrete reminder that someone is reading, even if I'm not entirely sure why! I think it is important that someone can have the opportunity to share their thoughts with you if they feel it's appropriate. And vice versa, although there are blogs where I read and leave happy without saying/typing a word. Even then, every once in a while, I think it's simply good manners to say hello & thank you.

Ms Melancholy said...

Hi lqs - I'm glad you brought in the concept of good manners...I have realised that if the blog-owner makes a point of not responding to comments, then I naturally stop visiting. And I don't think this is about me wanting debate and discussion - I just think it's good manners! We all inadvertently miss comments along the line - that's not what I'm talking about. But I can think of one 'newly-famous' blog that I no longer go to because the writer never comments in the ever growing comments box.

I hadn't quite realised how important the interaction is to me.....

nmj said...

Yeah, if you comment on a blog for the first time, and your comment is ignored, unresponded to, then you don't comment again. And you are quietly furious, and wonder why the hell you care so much!

Ms Melancholy said...

nmj - I totally agree! We don't want to feel ignored, if we have taken the time to contribute. And again, I am not talking about missing the odd comment but those who make a principle of not joining in the comments discussion. I don't get it.

La-que-sabe said...

Well, it's a tricky thing sometimes to know quite what to say! It's the peril of the typed communication thing. I mean, what's the blog equivalent of "Hi! Pleased to meet you..."

Also, I find that when I'm leaving comments elsewhere, I'm aware that I can come across as sounding patronising when I have no intention to be. It's a delicate balance, I think, between wanting to show that you're interested in what someone has to say, and not wanting to assume you know exactly what they mean and how they mean it. It foxes me every time. :)

bobo said...

I have this sudden urge to look up all my old English teachers and thrust your reference in their faces: "Could Do Better" hey ... let's see your blog then matey.

Oh yes. I'd leave a couple of tart comments about being "a bit slow". But then snorting is probably one of less attractive features.

And yes, comments have to be acknowledged. Absolutely.

Ms Melancholy said...

It's the peril of the typed communication thing. I mean, what's the blog equivalent of "Hi! Pleased to meet you..."

Couldn't agree has given us a unique method of communicating with each other,and now our written language has to catch up with it. Face to face we would be relying on all those non-verbals, but it's not possible to do that with the written word. I have never found myself using quite so many exclamation marks since I started blogging, and I have even been persuaded to use emoticons by the lovely Caroline (who is a linguist, and understands these things.)

Hi BoBo, I think you should... it would be healing (what a poor excuse, really, therapist get a grip of yourself.) Talking to me not you. I think you would be really funny. There, that's better.

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
charlotte said...

Well how weird was that? Usually my blog link is always included in blogger comments and this time it wasn't.

I'm trying again and hoping for better luck.

charlotte said...

OK it didn't. You can find me at!

Ms Melancholy said...

Hi Charlotte - thanks for that! Will pop by when I have made tea for the little ones.

Mr Period (as you are from now on...) - comment deleted as requested. But I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed your final comment x


Yay. Happy days. Thanks for taking it down, though, Melancholy, much appreciated. You're a goodly sort, to be sure.


Caroline said...

Ms M - I am worried about Mr Moon Topples.
I'm putting this here instead of where it was x

Ms Melancholy said...

I haven't been over for a couple of days. Should we pop in and check he's alright? Maybe he is just having a blogging break after all his hard work for the contest. I saw the lovely badge you got for not entering and screwing up the voting.It was lovely. He is truly an angel.

goodthomas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
goodthomas said...

Ms. M,

I am a blogger who does not allow comments on my site. Why in heaven's name would I do that, one may ask? My story is not that long, but there is a reason, of course. It is not done in spite, of course, or with any malicious intent. A little bit of unpleasant history, and a little bit of fear. I know that I have lost readers because of this.

But after reading your post yesterday and the spirited comments in conjunction with it (and then reading about nmj's experience with a publisher contacting her through her blog), I thought that I must re-evaluate what I am doing. I enabled comments this morning.

So, thank you for your post, your words.

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