Sunday, February 11, 2007

Anti-Valentine's Day Special...

Inspired by Mr Moon Topples anti-Valentine poem, here is an anti-Valentine's day treat (for me, not for you, dear readers.) I have allowed myself the indulgence of compiling my top ten melancholic, perverse and sometimes downright anti love songs.

10. Amy Winehouse at her straight-talking best. The Andrews Sisters meet a cussin' Billie Holliday. A heart-rending plea for fidelity.
What kind of fuckery are we?
Me and Mr Jones by Amy Winehouse

9. Gloria Jones' original version was heart-felt and soulful. A northern soul classic about the pain of an imperfect love.
Sometimes I feel I've got to [clap clap] run away
I've got to [clap clap] get away
From the pain you drive into the heart of me
Tainted Love by Gloria Jones

8. A tale of narcissism. Some would say the most perfect love of all.
Mirror in the bathroom recompense
For all my crimes of self defence
Cures you whisper make no sense
Drift gently into mental illness
Mirror In The Bathroom by The Beat

7. John Lydon in perverse rant. Just because it always makes me smile.
This is not a love song
This is not a love song
This is not a love song
This is not a love song
This Is Not A Love Song by Public Image Ltd

6. Denial, self-delusion and downright deception.
Hey Charley, for chrissakes,
Do you wanna know the truth of it?
I don't have a husband
He don't play the trombone
Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis by Tom Waits

5. Come on, admit it...haven't we all felt like this at the end of a relationship?
You know it, you show it
And the time has come to shoot you down
What a sound
When the day is done and it all works out
I'd love to do it and you know you've always had it coming
Shoot You Down by The Stone Roses

4. On breaking up. This is quite romantic, actually.
It's just the way it changes like the shoreline and the sea
But let's not talk of love and chains or things we can't untie
Your eyes are soft with sorrow
Hey, that's no way to say goodbye
Hey That's No Way To Say Goodbye by Leonard Cohen

3. On meaningless and shallow betrayal. One can only admire her brutal honesty.
I couldn't resist him
His eyes were like yours
His hair was exactly the shade of brown
He's just not as tall, but I couldn't tell
It was dark and I was lying down
I Heard Love Is Blind by Amy Winehouse

2. Perhaps the best anti-love song of all, but I wanted to end on a positive note. It is Valentine's day, after all.

When routine bites hard, and ambitions are low
And resentment rides high, but emotions won't grow
And we're changing our ways, taking different roads
Then love, love will tear us apart again
Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division

1. And finally, Morrissey: the king of the perverse love song in a strangely optimistic mood.
So for once in my life
Let me, get what I want

Lord knows, it would be the first time

Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want by The Smiths

What psychoanalytic theory has to tell us about falling in love is that the person we choose is from the start intimately involved in our inner life (Skynner and Cleese, 1983). We choose partners on the basis of our own internal processes, and the partner is chosen because he or she seems to provide some sort of solution to our own internal difficulties or conflicts.......[G]iven that one certain thing about people is that they are different from each other, that they do not fit into each other like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle for any great length of time (at least not in a rapidly changing world), falling in love is bound to be followed by a degree of disillusion, and a likely sense of betrayal, possibly immense betrayal, when I discover that this other person will not play the role in my personality that I have assigned to her. In a homely and appropriate metaphor, Winnicott calls this the plate-throwing stage and suggests that the relationship will survive if the couple do not run out of plates....I am not saying that unhappiness should be borne or endured whatever; some relationships involve a clear, profound and mutually destructive unhappiness and would be better ended....If I have a personal attitude on this, it is that if I can break even, I'm not doing too badly. But this involves tolerating unhappiness for periods, or perhaps in some aspect of my life all the time.
Ian Craib (1994) The Importance of Disappointment p.125


Boris said...

Fantastic stuff Ms M. My own personal fav anti val day song was very popular in a small underground club I used to frequent in the early 80's in Leeds called the Phono. By a strange coincidence one of the regulars at that time did a cover of one of your songs - bet you know who.

Anyway, my song, I'm not sure, but I think it was The Doors(?). The line was "If you don't want to f**k me baby, baby f**k off". Very romantic. It was that kind of a place

Happy Val Day, hope you gets loads of flowers and cards from your admirers.


Ms Melancholy said...

Marc Almond! I bet it was Marc Almond! I don't know that particular Doors song, but I would have included it if I did. I am fully expecting....well, pretty much nothing on Valentine's day. My son used to send me a card but he has sadly grown out of the desire to marry his mummy. And me and The Husband have a tacit agreement that it is all capitalist nonsense. And if a client sends me a card I should get very worried indeed.

Caroline said...

Fantastic - will you be selling cds off your blog???? Can I buy one????
I believe it would be the most perfect Valentine gift from me to me.

Political Umpire said...

Great list. It's not a love song nor an anti-love song, but it does hit the spot with regard to the most important foreign policy issues for Britain today. And it's the only decent song on an otherwise very disappointing (and band-destroying) album:

"Hey! Where's the fucking war John?"

Not Now John, by Pink Floyd.

nmj said...

Leonard for any occasion, he is the man!

And PIL just kills me with nostalgia. I remember buying the album with This is not a love song for my brother's bday.

Did I dream you had CBT post, I wanted to follow the links?!


Share NMJ's confusion. I did follow the links - most excellent, by the way - and had looked forward to seeing how things panned out. What happened, Melancholy?

As for your list here, I'm afraid to say that I have only heard of four of the songs on it. I quite like the anti-Valentine's message, though. It really is a bit of a load of old cack, isn't it?

It used to crush people in school when they didn't get anything, which was just horrible to see. At that age, though, it seems important. Now it just seems like so much pointless something or other - I didn't want to use "cack" twice , but couldn't think up an alternative quickly enough.

My advice: ignore the day. It just means nothing.



(all love cards should be sent to - thanks)

Sue George said...

I didn't think that "If you don't want to fuck me baby, fuck off" was by the Doors.
An internet search reveals it was actually by Wayne County and the Electric Chairs. Wayne County is now Jayne County and was, at the time, clearly very angry indeed.

JustJude said...

Love the playlist. Might have to set it up to celebrate tomorrow.


trousers said...

A slight digression but hopefully in the same spirit: a t-shirt worn by one of my favourite artists, Shizuo: "I love hate. I hate everything else"

Ms Melancholy said...

Caroline - it's a thought, isn't it? Not as exciting as knickers in a tin, though...

Mr PU - you might be onto something here - the soundtrack of the Blair years?? (Should I stay or should I go now?)

Nmj - wierd combination, but it works for me too. Will repost the CBT thing tomorrow...

Mr PE - see above...I'm quite a romantic at heart really, but I do manage to avoid it on Valentine's day. Let us all know if you get a flood of e-cards, won't you...?

Hi Sue - nice to see you here again. Wayne County is now Jayne County? This is one of the things I love about blogging - you pick up all sorts of strange facts...

Hi Jude - hope you and T have a more romantic playlist than this, tomorrow!

Hi Trousers - nice sentiment!

That's so pants said...

Great selection Ms M but these are love songs, no?

Ms Melancholy said...

Yeah, sort of, Ms Pants. Perverse love songs, I like to think, (with the exception perhaps of Leonard Cohen.) Not drippy love songs, anyway.

Miss Tickle said...

"I'm looking though you,
Where did you go?
I thought I knew you,
What did I know?
You don't look different but you have changed,
I'm looking through you, you're not the same."

As a Valentine's Day compilation tape from a boyfriend once began...


Yes, I will be sure to let you know if I get a flood of e-cards, Melancholy.

JoeBlogs said...

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Name :
Age :
Location :
Vocation :
Philosophy :

Sum up what your blog is about.
Why are you doing your blog?
What’s the funniest entry on your site?
What is your writing style?
What do people commonly say about your site?
What would you be doing if you weren’t doing your blog?
Why should someone visit your site?
What did you learn from your first love?
Are there any blogs, you enjoy reading?
If you could invite anyone to a dinner party who would it be and why?
What one website would you recommend and why?
Tell us about a good deed you have done recently.
Tell us a random funny story that comes to mind.
What advice would you have given yourself 5 years ago?
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Being a psychotherapist, getting your ear bent all day, what part of the human condition annoys you the most?
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Now it’s your turn! Ask me one question, anything you like.
Your Site Address :

Kind Regards
Joe Blogs

(please include any picture at all that you want to add to the interview)

Ms Melancholy said...

Mr Blogs, you are very sweet. I will happily oblige, but it may take me some time....

Ms Melancholy said...

Hi again, Miss Tickle - lovely song, but not veryvalentiney, is it? I'm guessing it was the start of the end?

Political Umpire said...

How do you get Ms Pants in a tin? Is she very obliging?