Monday, May 07, 2007

How Times Have Changed....

A recent conversation between a friend of mine and her 11 year old daughter.

Daughter: Mum, can I have pole dancing classes at school?

Mum: Pole dancing classes?

Daughter: Yes, Miss B is teaching us pole dancing.

Mum: Miss B is teaching pole dancing?

Daughter: Yes, on a Monday after school. But if I go I have to be free on Monday the 7th of May because we are doing a display.

Mum: You are doing a pole dancing display?

Daughter: Yes, in the Town Hall Square.

Mum: Miss B is putting on a pole dancing display in the Town Hall Square?

Daughter: Yes, can I do it?

Mum: (stunned silence)

Daughter: Pleeeease mum. It’s for May Day.

Mum: Ah, (relief) Miss B is teaching you May Pole Dancing darling.

Daughter: Yes, that’s what I said. Pole dancing. Can I do it mum?

So to my friend and her lovely daughter, I hope your pole dancing goes down a treat today. And mind not to get the ribbons caught up in your legs when you go upside down.


Stray said...

OMG! That made me giggle soooo much.

My sister used to tell all and sundry that when she grew up she was going to be a belly dancer. Ballet dancer they used to correct. No, she would assure them (aged 4) - they don't get to wear a ruby in their tummy button.

Old dears in the home counties would look rather shocked and swallow hard.

She did infact become one at the earliest opportunity.

Happy May Bank Holiday Ms M.


Ms Melancholy said...

Happy Bank Holiday, too, Ms Lovely Stray. I intend to be extremely lazy today. Unfortunately it is raining here, so not good for outdoor pole dancing. xxx

Badger said...

Its windy here - which I guess could be good for Pole Dancing. I guess that would depend.

I have awful memories of May Day as a kid. I could never do the dance bit correct and just ended up in a right old tangled mess and spoilt it for everyone else and then everyone would shout at me. ugh.

Its hard being a baby badger. They seem to forget Badgers have no thumbs.

Ms Melancholy said...

Hi lovely Badger, I never, ever did it as a kid. It always looks horribly complicated for small children though. I think I would have found that stressful too. And of course Badgers don't have opposable thumbs. How on earth were you meant to hold the ribbon? Have a lovely bank holiday too.

Paul said...

Love the story.
We took a short break a few years ago to the Isle of Wight.
One morning, out of the blue, my son asked, 'Dad, what's needless?'
The boys a philosoper, I thought.
'Well there are lots of things we have or want, that we don't really need,' I began explaining.
'No!' he interrupted, pointing at a signpost. 'What it says there.'
The signpost he was pointing at said, "The Needles - 1 mile."
He's still a bit of a philosopher though.

That's so pants said...

Great story Ms Melancholy - she did check that the costumes weren't being sponsored by Spearmint Rhino I assume.

Ms Melancholy said...

Hi Paul, yes there is a lesson here: always check the context of the question, before offering an answer. When our littlest was 4 she asked us 'what is sex?'. Hubby started to embark on an elaborate answer. I intervened, asking her what had prompted the question. After much probing, it transpired that she wanted to know why 'male' and 'female' were referred to as one's 'sex'. She could have got much more than she bargained for. (And I refrained from the sociologist's answer of differentiating between sex and gender, you'll be glad to know.) I am glad your son is still something of a philosopher. It is a much neglected subject in this country, I think. French children study philosophy, whilst our children study for their SATS. Thanks for commenting. Sorry for rambling!

Hey lovely Pants, no she didn't check. And nor did she check that it was actually maypole dancing. Imagine her distress if she turns up at the town hall square today, and discovers that it was the Spearmint Rhino (or Peppermint Rhino, as another friend calls it) kind of pole dancing. I wouldn't be surprised, to be honest. I live in an area which still has the 11 plus, and the 'bright' children are creamed off at 11 for the grammar school. The local comp used to encourage people to apply for an apprenticeship or a secretarial course. Perhaps pole dancing has replaced the secretarial course. I am in a particularly cynical mood today, Pants. Check your blog. Dont' know why. Perhaps I don't like Mondays.

b said...

My husband got it in three seconds. Now he thinks I'm evil and is going to keep me well away from our (future) children.

I feel bad.

blue said...
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Ms Melancholy said...

Hey b, I'm glad your husband got it. But why are you evil? And why are you not allowed to see your (as yet unborn) children? I am worried for you. And I feel bad that I have made you feel bad. Oh dear.

Ms Melancholy said...

Fantastic! Just checked my stats and I am getting hits from a pole dancing website. Ace. Just what I want.

b said...

Oh, he's just mean ;) I don't think he's really going to keep me away from our future children, he just likes to tease me and doesn't often get a chance!

I just reread my comment and realised that my tongue being in my cheek really doesn't show, does it? Sorry, I didn't mean to worry you - now I feel bad for making you feel bad for making me feel bad. I will stop now before this gets ridiculous :)

bindi said...

I was right with your friend there! Thinking, what's the world coming to?, as I read the post.

Pole dancing classes are a craze here too! What's up with that?

Similar scenario on Cath & Kim, where Sharon misinterprets Kim and turns up to a pole dancing class in Polish National Costume.

'No Sharon, pole dancing is where you learn to do sexy moves around a pole'
'That sounds dumb, Kim'
'Well, everyone on Big Brother does it. Are they dumb Sharon then, are they?'
Sharon doesn't know how to respond to this challenge and stands there mute for a classic comic moment.

Dandelion said...

I LOVE this post! Another classic, if I may say so.

And it brings back happy memories of my own maypole dancing days...

Anonymous said...

Ah, maypoles, okay - I was quite worried through much of that ... times have changes somewhat since my day, but thankfully not that much.

I once saw people doing Morris dancing and it was actually quite entertaining, surprisingly.

The English are so bad at keeping traditions.

sheepish said...

Classic, I laughed out loud. Now where's that Pole.

Liz said...

I was getting all riled up thinking about the proliferation of stripper culture...and then it's a May Pole. Wowzer, that is FUNNY!

brumcunian said...

Mrs M... in a Points of View stylie why why why why why did you refrain from giving the socilogically correct differentiation between sex and gender. She was 4. She needed truth not over simplified versions of the truth. She may grow up to be an avid reader of the comic book known as The Sun.

Tell her brumcunian says sex is whether you have boy bits or girl buts but gender is the extent to which your personality and behaviours express stereotypically masculine or feminine traits. Then take her to Canal Street so she can test out her new found knowledge of the differences between sex and gender.

As for the pole dancing story... muahaha.

Ms Melancholy said...

Hey b, I guessed your tongue was firmly in your cheek - was just wondering if you thought pole dancing for kids was a top idea??! (I am guessing not...)

Hey Bindi, have never seen Cath and Kim, but that's a great quote!

Hi there dandelion, why thank you, you are too kind. Take it you didn't do any maypole dancing yesterday then??

Hey Zeddie, yes we probably are pretty bad at keeping up our traditions. But when one of those is morris dancing, I confess I am a teeny bit relieved. Sorry.

Hey Sheepish, glad to raise a titter. I guess you need after your worm rot experiences of late. Sounds really yucky.

Hi there Liz, yes, me too when she was telling me. I was drawing myself upwards for a good old feminist rant....and then, so funny. It is scary though, that we might even think that they would run pole dancing classes at school. Because for a few moments I really did believe it was true. Too scary.

Ms Melancholy said...

Hey Brum, you snuck in there! (And you are in danger of confusing people by commenting on a previous post! However, you have sussed that once I have put a new post up, I don't check the messages for the old ones and it would've been missed.)

Anyway, I ramble again. Do you think she was old enough for that? I have subsequently had the conversation, but she is 9 now and can take it. As for the trip to Canal Street (or anal treet as it used to be known - is that sign still there?) I shall definitely drop them off for a night out there when they are of an age to drink. (Which in Manchester is about 14, I think?) I have had some lovely nights out in The New Union and the posh club that used to have a women's night. (Pussy Galore it was called then...)

brumcunian said...

Confusion and chaos. My work here is done.

Ms Melancholy said...

Hey Brum, I'm the one who is confused.....right post after all. Normal service will be resumed shortly....

The Moon Topples said...

It is important to learn skills early, and pole dancing in school seems only logical. After all, not all of the children will grow up to work in offices.

Having neither May Day nor Bank Holidays here in America, I am shocked anew at the things you Brits will do to get off work for a day.

Ms Melancholy said...

Ah, Mr Moon, we are both very creative and secretly very lazy. We will even dance around ridiculous maypoles, just to get a day off work. But a day for pole dancing has not yet been sanctioned. Yet.

Lynda said...

LOL it is a sign of the times that it didn't even occur to me that 'pole dancing lessons' at school would seem odd! There is no doubt that my 19 year old daughter and her friends know way more about the world than I did at that age... yet the last time a few of them slept over I made chocolate crackles (there was no flour in the house) - took them in to a room full of adult/girls in their flannel PJ's and the squeals of delight would rival any 5 year old birthday party. Fabulous story.

Ms Melancholy said...

Hey Lynda, I know, isn't that scary??

EmmaK said...

That was brilliant. I kept thinking, well, it is good exercise I suppose, that pole dancing, and if they're wearing gym shorts, where's the harm?...but I was pleased you really meant may pole dancing in the end. Phew.

Anonymous said...
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Ms Melancholy said...

Hi emmmak, well, I guess it could be good exercise.....but so is playing an innocent game of rounders which is what you and I did for exercise when we were 11! Relieved you were relieved. And thanks for dropping by x

b said...

Hello again, just to say no I think pole dancing is generally a horrible idea. The idea of teaching it to children makes me want to cry. But then so does the idea of children going round singing 'smack that', and I bet they do. I try not to think about these things else they make my head hurt.

Belly dancing on the other hand is fab, although I don't do it any more.

Boris said...

What is spearmint rhino?

Sorry, but I live in a small town and lead a very sheltered life.

Please explain.



rivergirlie said...

a friend had a similar conversation with her daughter, who eventually justified wanting to do pole-dancing classes so she could do it in the olympics. ahhhh - okaaaay. pole vaulting

Kate said...

Great story. Thanks for the chuckle. And now, I must lay my big Canadian head down for the night. This is my first visit to your blog, but I'll be back.

Ms Melancholy said...

Hey Boris, I know that you know. You are just trying to get me to talk about rude things on my blog. I shan't be tricked!

Hi again rivergirlie, wow, pole vaulting. I think my friend would prefer that even to may pole dancing for her daughter. Go girl.

Hey Kate, thanks for dropping in. Hope to see you again sometime.