Please bear with me whilst I conduct a short experiment:
- My husband is extremely sexy and a wonderful and thoughtful lover.
- I love his Thai cooking. I don't at all mind that he uses every pan and utensil in the kitchen - even though Thai is classically one-pot cooking - and then fails to soak them so that the washing up takes me twice as long as it should.
- He is not untidy. His method is just different to mine* but is equally valid and shouldn't be criticised.
- He is not disorganised. I, on the other hand, have an obsessive-compulsive disorder and from now on shall refrain from re-organising the yoghurts in the fridge according to sell-by date.
- The top of the bedroom chest of drawers is absolutely the correct place to store piles of loose change, large numbers of receipts, credit card bills, cello strings and rosin.
- I agree that any flat surface is just fair game.
- I don't at all mind the fact that he pushes the duvet down the bed in the middle of the night and then traps it between his legs, so that I wake up in the morning curled up in a heap at the bottom of the bed in a bid to keep warm.
- Sitting on the sofa on a Saturday afternoon watching the football results definitely counts as 'work' if you have a child sitting next to you.
- Haydn's string quartets are infinitely preferable to Amy Winehouse, Ojos de Brujo or anything else you might actually be able to dance to.
- He can have a free pass for Angelina Jolie, Kate Bush and the woman who works in our local.
- I forfeit my free pass for Zidane, Robert Carlyle and Howard from Take That, thus promising a life time of monogamy.
The Husband claims that he has never read this blog. This may have something to do with the fact that when I first started writing it I said "I don't want you to read it", because I was feeling a little shy. Since then, however, I have said several times "have you read my blog, yet?" which is woman-speak for "I've changed my mind and you can read it if you like." He tells me that he hasn't. It's not that I don't believe him, just that I want to be sure. And this will surely flush him out if he is lying.