Monday, November 20, 2006

How to Become a Psychotherapist

  • Ensure that you come from a dysfunctional family with at least one parent who expects you to parent them (even when you are three.)
  • Have an existential crisis that begins at puberty and goes on until your late 20’s, marked by a series of intense and ultimately doomed relationships.
  • Develop an unnatural interest in all things melancholic, (unless CBT is your thing, in which case develop an irritating habit of telling people how to think and feel.)
  • Make sure you are a middle child/eldest child/youngest child/only child and develop the appropriate neurosis. It’s important to be able to empathise with your clients.
  • Develop a capacity for introspection that borders on just the right side of narcissism.
  • Have therapy. Lots of it. And when you think you’ve had enough, have some more just to be on the safe side.
  • Do not develop clinical depression, a life-long eating disorder or a psychotic illness. Clients need empathy. They do not need a therapist who is more fucked up than they are.
  • Have children. It helps you to empathise with all the crappy parents you meet in the consulting room.
  • Have a trust fund/find a very rich partner or resign yourself to funding yourself through 5 years of training and spending the next 10 years paying it off.
  • Learn to be yourself. (And not by reading self help books.)

86 comments:

Rachel said...

Applauds.

I tried, I did the first year of an MA in Counselling and Psychotherapy.


But I couldn't take it seriously enough. And I thought I'd get too fidgety having to listen to people for an hour.

Rachel said...

...in fact, I am much too selfish and unwilling to do the work on myself to have been any cop at all. I have great respect for people who can do it ( be therapists). I don't have the patience and forgiveness to sit with myself for 50 minutes, let alone other people

Dandelion said...

you could always stand?

Badger said...

This is a lovely post. It made me smile. Also, do you need to own an Audi - or is that just clinical psychologists?

Badger x

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