Confessions of a Psychotherapist

The Last Post....

2008-04-26T17:14:00.003+01:00

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.I seem to have run out of steam.I guess that means that Confessions has run its course. Inspired by the lively interest and debate this blog has previously met, I am gestating something a little more serious and a little less personal.We may meet again.xxx

The drugs don't work....?

2008-02-26T20:55:00.009Z

A new study from the University of Hull suggests, apparently, that the new generation of anti-depressants have 'little effect'.At least, this is how it has been reported on the BBC website. The actual findings suggest that a placebo is just as effective as certain SSRI's in cases of mild to moderate depression, which is not quite the same thing as saying that the pills don't work. In cases of

Crisis? What crisis?

2008-02-04T00:43:00.000Z

Our social care system is in crisis, according to the annual review published by the Commission for Social Care Inspection this week. Disabled people and the frail elderly face a postcode lottery as local authorities tighten the screws ever further on the provision of social care. The report revealed that councils are implementing increasingly strict eligibility criteria, excluding many

Isn't Blogging Weird.....?

2007-10-29T08:54:00.000Z

So....I take a teeny weeny blogging break during which I explore my long-standing confusion about my sexuality, decide to split from my husband, take a lesbian lover, tell my adolescent son that his mother is gay and move house. And what happens? I watch my technorati rating plummet to barrel scraping levels.You really are a fickle lot :)

Life.....

2007-10-18T22:24:00.000+01:00

...is what happens when we are busy making other plans.I am taking a short break.See you in ten days time....

Please Feel Free To Ignore Me......

2007-10-11T08:06:00.000+01:00

How narcissistic is it to announce your own birthday on your blog? I have absolutely no shame at all, as The Mother is fond of telling me.Today I am 41, which feels so much older than 40.And I don't have any cards, because nobody loves me the striking Posties have buggered it all up. (Not that I mind them striking. I adopted Spanish working practices a long time ago, and don't resent them for

On Mothers and Daughters....(Part IV)

2007-10-10T23:31:00.000+01:00

The Mother is very, very worried about me. The Mother wants me to give up blogging. Blogging, apparently, is very dangerous. Blogging is very dangerous because it involves t'internet, which is populated entirely by terrorists, paedophiles and pornographers.This latest outburst of maternal concern was prompted by the fact that I told her I had met up with some bloggers. I met these terrorists,

The End Of Spin...?

2007-10-04T08:46:00.000+01:00

"...I haven't got an autocue, I haven't got a script, I've just got a few notes so it might be a bit messy; but it will be me..." David CameronWhat an incredible feat that was, to deliver a carefully written and well rehearsed off-the-cuff, straight-out-of-my-pretty-head speech like that.I now realise what

You Know You Are Getting Old When......

2007-10-04T00:02:00.000+01:00

.....you don't mind getting stuck behind a slow moving farm vehicle on your way home because it makes it easier to bird watch and drive at the same time......the fact that you can download a Hilary Clinton ring tone from the PM blog makes you want to write a stiff letter of complaint about dumbing down. To Radio 4 and The Times (and you don't even read The Times.)....you think who is that nice

You're Never Alone With A Head Full Of Relatives....

2007-09-30T14:58:00.001+01:00

You might think after umpteen years of investigating my internal world, I would be adept at managing the ancestral voices in my head. You would be wrong. Rooting through the fridge today, I came across a paper bag of slimy mushrooms, the unsuspecting victims of my current domestic lethargy. I was just about to put them in the compost pile when I heard my long-deceased grandma’s voice in my head

Normal Service Is Resumed.....

2007-09-25T20:53:00.000+01:00

Several weeks ago, the lovely Anticant sent me a list of questions. Then life took over. I am hopeful that life is largely back to some semblance of normality and that blogging duties are now resumed as normal. But I'm not promising. So, Anticant, here are your insightful questions and my considered answers........Why do you call yourself Ms Melancholy? You don't seem like a gloomy person to me?I

Why Oh Why Oh Why Is It Raining Again In Britain...?

2007-08-14T20:53:00.000+01:00

Photographs from John Gray's Sea Canoe website. I have made it home safely. Only just.What started off as a simple holiday slowly turned into one of those 'face your worst fears but discover, in an emotional denouement, that it is in fact a transformational experience' type of things. I rather suspected that Ben Fogle was following me around with a camera crew and that sympathetic look that he

Swimming With The Fishes....

2007-08-08T06:22:00.000+01:00

OMG!!! I did it, I did it, I did did did it! I bloody well snorkelled out of my depth without turning into a jelly fish.As the boat which had just deposited us in the middle of the sea sped off, I realised that I was torn between two equally compelling forces: the desire to scream and panic and thrash about wildly, and the compulsion to respond to the archaic internal narrative which was telling

More Drivelling Nonsense From The Conservative Party...

2007-07-10T21:36:00.000+01:00

Whatever happened to Ian Duncan Smith? Since his whimpering demise from the top job IDS has apparently been heading up The Social Justice Policy Group, a think tank charged with meeting the challenge of social exclusion via policy recommendations to the Conservative party. He has clearly been a busy, busy man because today saw the publication of Breakthrough Britain, a 691 page report rehashing

So What Are You Up To This Week...?

2007-06-11T21:43:00.000+01:00

I predict an uneventful week ahead. Working, pottering, revising for my SATS helping my son to revise for his SATS, tiling the bathroom, blah.And on Thursday I shall be at Waterstones in Manchester (91, Deansgate) listening to a promising new author read from her brand spanking new work of fiction. She is called Caroline Smailes. Have you heard of her?Fancy a review of this yet-to-be-launched

In Search Of Adam...

2007-06-09T20:49:00.001+01:00

Caroline Smailes has written a novel. I would be surprised if anyone who reads this blog has not come across Caroline's amazing story, of how her unassuming blog launched her beautiful first novel, but in case you haven't you can catch up with her story here.I read her novel this week. I was blown away. With the story of Jude - a motherless, abused child on a quest to discover her roots -

On Yummy Mummies...

2007-06-05T19:48:00.000+01:00

Something has gotten under my skin today. I shan't tell you what it is. I wondered whether to blog it, and then remembered that I already had, back in the days when I didn't have any readers. First aired in November, now to be found on UK Gold.************************What a monster we have created. Who decided that we should professionalise motherhood? Don’t get me wrong, I object to the

Funny How Things Remind You...

2007-06-01T20:49:00.000+01:00

Whenever you get back from Italy you think there is no point ever cooking again, you will never recreate such lovely food....Says nmjI am inclined to agree.She reminds me of the time we emerged from a jungle track in Costa Rica, to see a sign in Italian:Pizza! Al Forno di Legno!We had driven through a 'monkey trail' in the Guanacaste region of Costa Rica, in search of a secluded beach about

On Shopping And Being Rude...

2007-05-27T10:50:00.000+01:00

Pen-y-Ghent, Yorkshire DalesI am rubbish at shopping. Really, spectacularly rubbish. Although I dabble, I remain an unreconstructed lefty when faced with the opportunity to become a proper player at consumerism. I balk at the opportunity to hand over sums of cash in return for a fleeting glimpse of happiness. God knows I see enough ordinary human misery in my job to realise that consuming like

Anyone For EBT*....?

2007-05-20T11:10:00.000+01:00

You may be aware that there are plans afoot to expand access to psychological therapies in the NHS. This is a Good Thing, in my opinion. You may also be aware that there are plans afoot to ensure that CBT will be pretty much the only therapy on offer. This is a Very Bad Thing in my opinion. Perhaps you already know that. We have had some stimulating discussions on this blog about the pros and

And Now I Feel Hungry....

2007-05-19T16:19:00.000+01:00

I have been tagged by the lovely Dandelion, which gives me an excuse for a lazy post whilst I pretend to watch the FA cup final. I find football unbelievably dull when I have no interest in the outcome, and how does the neutral observer choose between one stupidly rich team and another stupidly rich team? The tag is to name your five favourite eateries in your location. So here, in reverse

I Like Thyme With Chicken....

2007-05-17T22:01:00.000+01:00

I have had some back pain today. Just a little more than I find tolerable (although The Husband claims that I am a man when it comes to tolerating pain.)I went to the first aid box at the complimentary therapy clinic where I work, hoping it might contain something to ease the pain.I found a collection of Bach remedies, some arnica (gel and pills) and a bunch of thyme. I took the Bach remedy for

On Meeting A Stray And A Badger...

2007-05-17T09:41:00.000+01:00

My meeting with Stray came via email, following a post about a smear test I seem to recall. It passed without incident.I met Badger a few weeks later, introduced by Stray via her blog roll. Enjoyable indeed, but still without controversy.So how I wish I wish I wish I had met them first in the flesh and not the cyber world. As their housemate did. Read it here. And then see if you dare visit them

Congratulations Lovely Badger...

2007-05-14T19:28:00.000+01:00

Last week Badger wrote a beautifully evocative piece about living with Tourettes, and the very wise jury at Post of the Week have judged this the best post from a very tough short list this week.Well done Badger. I am most happy for you indeed. So if you have ever wondered what it is like to have an itch....that is scratched but never eased, then go and read the wise words of Badger.

On Meetings And Ruptures...

2007-05-13T01:21:00.000+01:00

Have I ever told you that I live in sleepy little backwater? Maybe just the once or twice? I love where I live. I love being out in the Dales within a half hour’s car drive, walking my imaginary dog or cycling with the children. (I am allergic to proper dogs, but imaginary ones don’t make me sneeze or wheeze.) I love staring at the hills whilst I wash the dishes, and driving up through the mist

On Tit-being-ness...**

2007-05-11T22:25:00.000+01:00

I started to watch Obedient Wives on TV this week. Based on the insane ramblings teachings of one Laura Doyle, who wrote The Surrendered Wife, the programme followed the lives of a number of women who have achieved total domestic bliss by handing over control of their lives and their relationships to their husbands. If you have a penchant for being treated like a juvenile domestic slave, then

How Times Have Changed....

2007-05-07T10:13:00.000+01:00

A recent conversation between a friend of mine and her 11 year old daughter. Daughter: Mum, can I have pole dancing classes at school? Mum: Pole dancing classes? Daughter: Yes, Miss B is teaching us pole dancing. Mum: Miss B is teaching pole dancing? Daughter: Yes, on a Monday after school. But if I go I have to be free on Monday the 7th of May because we are doing a display. Mum: You are

Why Does Play-Doh Smell Of Marzipan...?

2007-05-06T00:39:00.000+01:00

We have just spent a wonderful evening at the Bridgewater Hall, listening to Colin Carr playing Bridge's Oration, Natalie Guttman playing Britten's Cello Symphony, Ralph Kirshbaum playing Elgar's Cello Concerto and Yo-Yo Ma playing Walton's Cello Concerto. The concert was part of the Royal Northern College of Music's International Cello Festival. We heard four truly stunning performances.

Will Mrs Johnson Please Make Herself Known...

2007-05-02T09:51:00.000+01:00

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.I have a proper confession. I suffer from a 'mail opening' disorder. It stems back to the days when money was seriously tight, and opening mail would invariably propel me into a panic as to how I was going to give this person the money they were asking for and that I didn’t have. (I have been a

Have I Ever Mentioned That I Live In Yorkshire....?

2007-04-30T15:49:00.000+01:00

Pen-y-ghentWhernsideIngleboroughWe spent yesterday afternoon at Horton in Ribblesdale watching the Three Peaks fell race. In the rest of the country this race is known as the Yorkshire Three Peaks, in order to distinguish it from the National Three Peaks challenge. Around these parts it is just the Three Peaks. Or to be more accurate, t' Three Peaks. Never let it be said that us Yorkshire folk

Sometimes Step-Parenting Is Hard

2007-04-26T10:41:00.000+01:00

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.Have I ever mentioned the fact that I am a step-parent? We are what the textbooks refer to as a ‘blended family’: me and my son, The Husband and his daughter. We look like a perfectly normal family. The children very easily pass for siblings except that that they don’t invest their energy in trying

Keen And Ambitious Children Up For Adoption...

2007-04-23T21:28:00.000+01:00

Eldest child is speaking on his mobile in the kitchen.Youngest child is speaking on the landline in the adjoining sitting room. Eldest: So you would like to buy some car insurance? Youngest: Yes please, that would be lovely. Eldest: We have the standard insurance at £50 a month, or for a little more you can buy the deluxe insurance. Youngest: Ooh, deluxe sounds good. What’s that? Eldest:

Anyone for CBT...? (Part 3)

2007-04-22T15:27:00.000+01:00

“CBT is the New Coca-Cola: This house believes that cognitive behavioural therapy is superficially appealing but over marketed and has few beneficial ingredients.”* I have a colleague of whom I am extremely fond. He is warm, compassionate and highly intelligent. He is also a good therapist. He is good at making relationships with his clients because he is essentially likeable and trustworthy

Sometimes I Am Lazy (Part 2)

2007-04-17T22:07:00.000+01:00

I am currently gestating a post about CBT and Humanistic psychotherapy (is gestating really a verb?) but I am still feeling as though I have consumed the entire contents of the hotel mini bar lazy after my wild weekend away. So thank you so much to the delightful Bindi for rescuing me with a meme – 5 things I am obsessed with - a cheap and cheerful way of ending a blogging drought if ever there

Sometimes I Am Lazy...

2007-04-10T21:53:00.000+01:00

I am a very lazy blogger at the moment. And I think I may be having a little bloggy wobble. There are a number of things that I feel I ought to be blogging about, to justify the ‘psychotherapist’ part of the title and not just indulge the ‘confessions’ part. I really ought to be blogging about the Layard report, which has called for 10,000 more NHS therapists to meet the challenge of our poor

Sometimes I Am Not Melancholic....

2007-04-08T22:39:00.000+01:00

Great Whernside forming the skyline behind Kettlewell. (Photographer not credited on website.)Grit boulders on the summit of Great Whernside. Image from Mountains, Snow and RockI have been very gently scolded by anticant - in the comments box of my previous post - for allowing my melancholic nature to obscure the fact that I live in one of the most beautiful parts of the country. He is absolutely

Not-So-Good Friday

2007-04-07T00:06:00.000+01:00

You may think that Good Friday is the day on which we commemorate the crucifixion of Jesus at Calvary. Or perhaps you are more drawn to the Pagan celebration of Eostre, the fertility goddess whose symbol of a hare is thought to be the origin of the Easter Bunny? On both counts you would be wrong. Good Friday actually marks the official start of the ‘tourist season’ in the small Yorkshire market

Wingardium Leviosa...

2007-04-06T10:19:00.000+01:00

This new technology still baffles me. I can barely understand how words and pictures can be stored on what is basically a cheap piece of plastic. I certainly don't understand how information can spirit its way through the ether and land on someone else's laptop. It still amazes me that I can send a document to someone and it can arrive there seconds later, without me schlepping out to the post

We Miss You Mr Joe...

2007-04-03T22:27:00.000+01:00

Regular readers of this blog will know that I am a big fan of those quirky little programmes that Radio 4 does so well. Great Lives is one such programme, and I almost squealed with pleasure to find that today's subject was Joe Strummer, former frontman of The Clash. Phil Jupitus was discussing Strummer's life and influences, along with Chris Salewicz, Strummer's biographer. I hold a great

Captive In Iran...

2007-04-03T22:00:00.000+01:00

Is it just me, or do the British Marines held captive in Iran look like a bunch of kids who have missed the coach home from their school trip? And does this make you feel unbelievably sad too?photo from telegraph.co.uk

Risk Schmisk

2007-04-01T18:21:00.000+01:00

We took the children here today. I know that it is important to let children take risks for these reasons.... But when they do this...it makes me feel like this..........and when I get home I need one of these.........so the moral of the story is.... .....risk taking is not good for parents.

You Can Run With Scissors....

2007-03-31T09:50:00.000+01:00

I had lunch this week with my dearest friend, the kooky hypnotherapist, and my newest crush, the sexy acupuncturist. The hypnotherapist was telling us that she had found herself using the phrase “ you can run with scissors if you like” to someone who was finding it hard to let go of his introjected parental controls. There followed a funny and revealing discussion between the three of us about

I Love The Shipping Forecast...

2007-03-28T07:10:00.000+01:00

My 11 yr old son and I were listening to the shipping forecast at 5am this morning. Being up before sunrise always brings out the melancholic aspect of me. I have learnt that this is a time for sadness and the darkest of thoughts. I told him that I used to listen to the World Service when he was a tiny baby, and that the shipping forecast was my favourite part of the day. Instantly soothing to

I Haven't Won Anything Since That Box Of Maltesers In The School Tombola In 1976...

2007-03-26T15:51:00.000+01:00

I have been awarded Post of the Week by the lovely people at, er, Post of the Week. I am disproportionately excited at this news, and will celebrate tonight with a small tot of something or other. It seems only right and proper that I should make a full acceptance speech. If I start to cry and ask God to Bless America, someone please shoot me stop me. I would firstly like to thank

How To Disappear Up Your Own Backside In One Easy Lesson....

2007-03-24T19:43:00.000Z

I had a meeting today at one of the clinics at which I work. (Yes, on a Saturday. How bloody inconsiderate is that?) I make it a point of principle never to work on a weekend, unless I am running a workshop and getting paid for it. I had to be persuaded quite hard to attend this meeting. I have too many interesting and stimulating things to do at the weekend – like grocery shopping, laundry

More On Therapy Culture...

2007-03-21T09:16:00.000Z

It took a sex therapist a little under two hours to diagnose Ulrika Johnson with sex addiction. And the defining moment, apparently, was when Ulrika admitted that ‘sex makes me feel like a different person’. The therapist stated the fucking obvious came up with the startling conclusion that Ulrika uses sex to feel better about herself. That she seeks a sense of completion through the sexual

Blinking Thoggers Part II....

2007-03-20T21:03:00.000Z

"I am not really sure what all this 'Thinking Blogger' stuff is about" Ms Melancholy, previous comments.Caroline came up with this explanation at John Baker's Blog. Read it and weep. Is this what we have come to?

Blinking Thoggers....

2007-03-19T21:09:00.000Z

I have been tagged by the consistently brilliant Not Saussure, a very sexy Tyger and the divine Charlotte with this 'Thinking Blogger' meme, started by Ilker Yolkas (I think that is his name. It might just be his favourite tipple.) Apparently I now have to tag 5 blogs that 'make me think', and they receive a 'Thinking Blogger' award too. Hooray! Hooray! Except I am too incompetent to work out how

Shaggy Blog Stories....

2007-03-17T23:01:00.000Z

It seems a week is a long time in Blogland. Troubled Diva has conceived, compiled and published a book whilst I have been gorging on tapas and churros in rural Spain. And it has come of something of a shock to me to find that I am one of the contributors. So, thank you to whoever nominated me, and a big thank you to Mike for including my post. (I still have no idea which post has been included,

TTFN

2007-03-07T23:19:00.000Z

I am taking a short break, as I am in serious need of sunshine, churros and decent coffee. Please don't wrestle in the mud whilst I am away. Does anyone want any duty free bringing back?(Photographer not referenced on website)

Sometimes I Wish I Wasn't A Therapist....(#1 of an occasional series)

2007-03-06T21:48:00.000Z

We had an appointment with the building society to apply for a new mortgage. I decided to take the opportunity to book in for a smear and my ears syringing at the same time, as the GP practice is near enough the building society for it to be an efficient use of my time. My hearing has been a bit crap of late, and this is not good in a therapist. (“I’m sorry what did you say then?....No, just

Is Competition A Necessary Evil? Discuss....

2007-03-05T20:50:00.000Z

I am sorry to be so demanding of you, but there is more voting to be done over at Leesa's Battle of the Blogs.You can vote for Ms Signs and me here.You can vote for Ms Pants, Yellow Ducky and the Lovely Caroline here.Nmj, Pony Boy and Mr Zhisou are not out - they are just waiting in a field for the naked mud wrestle to start.Thank you for your patience. Normal service will be resumed shortly.

On Meeting Our Children's Needs...

2007-03-04T17:20:00.000Z

I posted recently about the Internal Critic(s), and how we, as children, internalise external hostility or disapproval in an attempt to control our impulses and make our external world safe. I have been pondering since then about how that post was received by people who are also parents. We all have multiple selves who interpret the world through their own particular framework; this is most

Lunar Eclipse.....

2007-03-03T22:15:00.000Z

The Husband has just called me from work - he is working a night shift tonight - to let me know that there is to be a full lunar eclipse at midnight tonight.My response: "I wonder if that is why my breasts have been so sore today?" I immediately regretted saying it. It was quite a stupid thing to say, after all. I paused.He paused for quite a long time. I know what he was thinking: how do I

This Is A Test Transmission...

2007-03-01T10:07:00.000Z

Please bear with me whilst I conduct a short experiment:My husband is extremely sexy and a wonderful and thoughtful lover.I love his Thai cooking. I don't at all mind that he uses every pan and utensil in the kitchen - even though Thai is classically one-pot cooking - and then fails to soak them so that the washing up takes me twice as long as it should.He is not untidy. His method is just

Battle of the Blogs...

2007-02-27T20:20:00.000Z

Someone called Leesa is being very public spirited, and has organised a Battle for people who Blog. Its a rather complex voting system, based on something called baseball or basketball (not sure which) which is apparently an American sporting thingy. All you need to know is that you get to vote loads of times. So you can vote here for Ms Pants and Mr Ducky and the Lovely Caroline. You can vote

More Blogs I Like....

2007-02-25T15:54:00.000Z

I was going to do a serious post today, but I find that my serious self stayed in bed this morning. So here are a few blogs that I have 'discovered' recently and am enjoying immensely.La Que Sabe has a personal style that is both inviting and enjoyable, and she always responds to you if you comment which I am finding more and more important as I visit other blogs. Dialogue is a crucial part of

There Are Three Types Of Clothes In My Wardrobe:....

2007-02-24T16:14:00.000Z

…night-clothes, which for me include a collection of Malaysian Kaftans and flannelette pyjamas; going-out-clothes, which are basically anything you would be willing to wear in public, and in-between-clothes, which are those snugly-buggly favourites that you wear around the house but would really prefer not to be seen out in. I am enormously fond of my in-between-clothes. They mostly consist of

I Still Have The Memories....

2007-02-22T10:52:00.000Z

Spot the fatal flaw in this argument: Husband: “but it’s a lovely house, or at least it will look lovely when we have redecorated.” Me: “It’s decorated entirely in blown vinyl, the kitchen is a disaster and the carpets make me feel sea-sick. I’m not sure I can live with it even for a few months, and it’s going to take at least a year to get it all redecorated.” Husband: “But it has such

Who Is Defending Our Civil Liberties? (Pt II)

2007-02-19T22:13:00.000Z

Today has seen the House of Lords effect more amendments to the government's Mental Health Bill, and some pretty poor reporting of it too on Radio 4. The principle of treatment is not something that the Lords are plucking from nowhere in order to elevate civil liberties over public safety, as you may think if you listened to the report on PM tonight. This principle is already enshrined in the

Anyone For CBT...?

2007-02-19T21:27:00.000Z

The government is proposing an expansion of psychotherapeutic services within the NHS. Fabulous news. Currently, the only modality being considered in this expansion is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Not so fabulous news. Please sign this petition, asking the government to give due consideration to other psychotherapeutic approaches and modalities. And then tell your friends.PS. Following a

Daniel Finkelstein And Me...

2007-02-18T00:04:00.000Z

I am growing rather fond of Daniel Finkelstein, of Comment Central at The Times online. It all started with this post, which was supposed to be a sophisticated comment on the paradox of state funded therapy (societal problems should not be remedied with individual solutions etc.) but which was actually just a spontaneous and barely coherent sound-off about the ludicrous notion of giving women

Good Deed For The Day...

2007-02-17T22:20:00.000Z

Nmj has been feeling unwell of late. I suspect this news will bring her a little cheer...hope you feeling better soon, lovely x

Say No To Ugly People...

2007-02-16T21:17:00.000Z

Launched today: NEW MAGAZINE "ELIXIR" – WORLD'S FIRST QUALITY CONSUMER GLOSSY DEVOTED TO BRINGING YOU WHAT'S HOT IN ANTI-AGING AND REJUVENATION Why do we need this? Asked John Humphrys, on this morning's Today Programme on radio 4.Because we'd much rather look at attractive people than unattractive people, replied Avril O'Connor.I have never heard John Humphrys laugh quite so loudly.Avril

Valentine's Day Update...

2007-02-14T12:11:00.000Z

The Husband and I have just watched our neighbour's boyfriend arrive at her house armed with a huge bunch of flowers, a cute looking teddy bear and a box of expensive looking chocolates."Awhh!" we both said. "How sweet...."She is 19 and has a great deal to learn about life and love, but I enjoyed the reminder of the joyous innocence of being 19 and in love for the first time."Love you lots..."

Anti-Valentine's Day Special...

2007-02-11T17:03:00.000Z

Inspired by Mr Moon Topples anti-Valentine poem, here is an anti-Valentine's day treat (for me, not for you, dear readers.) I have allowed myself the indulgence of compiling my top ten melancholic, perverse and sometimes downright anti love songs.10. Amy Winehouse at her straight-talking best. The Andrews Sisters meet a cussin' Billie Holliday. A heart-rending plea for fidelity.What kind of

On Mothers and Daughters (Pt III)

2007-02-11T14:05:00.000Z

The telephone rang at 11.30 pm on Friday. The Husband was working a night shift and my son was at his father’s house. I know that when conducted with genuine cooperation shared care is best for the children of separated parents, and my son has shared his time between his father and myself since we separated eight years ago. For most of those eight years, however, I have felt as though something

Bird Flu Pandemic Imminent!!!

2007-02-09T23:06:00.000Z

Overheard on tonight's Any Questions on radio 4 - John Selwyn Gummer complimenting the government on their handling of the bird 'flu outbreak at a Bernard Matthews turkey farm, and reassuring the public that they cannot catch the disease from eating poultry. Just one small thought: wasn't he the Minister for Agriculture during the BSE episode who attempted to convince the 'meat-eating public'

Short Hair Days...

2007-02-08T12:13:00.000Z

On the coldest day of the year so far I find myself with the shortest haircut I have had since I was in my early 20s. I have been going to the same hairdresser for four years and have had broadly the same haircut in all that time. Short, but never too short. I like my hairdresser. She knows my profession and we have wordlessly developed a LETS scheme: she tells me her problems and I get a wet

Sponsor Miss Tickle...

2007-02-08T11:11:00.000Z

Miss Tickle is not a slattern, nor a charity case nor a crack addict (as far as I know.) She is an actor trying to raise money quickly for a new production and in a stroke of genius is asking the blog world to 'buy a word'. Find her here.

Women Who Rant Too Much...

2007-02-04T01:14:00.000Z

I have come across a couple of comments on blogs recently that have irked me. Blogs that I really like, by the way, and so I won’t link to them as I don’t want to hold the bloggers responsible for the views of some idiot readers. The comments are about therapy. Firstly, the comment that only white, young, wealthy, middle-class and self-indulgent people go to therapy; secondly, that therapists

Sprat To Catch A Mackeral, Anyone...?

2007-02-02T20:00:00.000Z

On today's PM programme on Radio 4, Eddie Mair interviewed a US military official (or some such like) regarding the death in Iraq of Lance Corporal Matty Hull, who died when the convoy of armoured vehicles he was travelling in came under fire from US aircraft. The US official began the interview by offering his sincere condolences to Matty Hull's family. To which Mr Mair replied, quite

Why Psychotherapy Needs Regulating...

2007-02-01T10:38:00.000Z

Apparently the Barefoot Doctor is in a bit of a pickle at the moment. Mr Barefoot is a self-styled guru who dispenses advice on health and well-being, via his website, various self-help books, newspaper columns (formerly for the Observer), TV appearances and his touring circus (sorry, that should read public appearances.) As far as I can ascertain he is a yoga-teacher with an incredible knack

Moon Topples Great Big Awesome (Short) Fiction Contest

2007-01-31T23:22:00.000Z

In a spirit of chummy competitiveness, the delightful and talented Mr Moon Topples is hosting a short fiction competition for the blogworld. Visit here for details. (And read his blog whilst you are there. It really is very good.)

What On Earth Does He See In Me...?

2007-01-28T16:34:00.000Z

The Husband and I have both been practising very hard since Christmas. I can now play 'Take Me Out' (level: HARD!) on Guitar Hero. I rock! He, meanwhile, can play his Grade 5 cello pieces beautifully. He is sophisticated and talented. He loves me anyway.

The Word On The Street...

2007-01-28T16:11:00.000Z

The size zero model issue rages again. It is undeniable that the fashion industry and certain sections of the media are setting norms that for most young women are largely unattainable, resulting in an increasing number of young women with anorexia and body dysmorphia issues. That much is true. But is that the extent of the story? I have never heard anybody argue publicly that they prefer a

But I Am A Lazy Person......

2007-01-27T19:19:00.000Z

...so I really can’t be bothered. You know what I meant, didn’t you? Societal problems should not be remedied with individual solutions, therapy included, and therapy should not collude with the fantasy that others should meet our emotional needs. It’s a paradox. Life is full of them. That’s all folks. PS. could a clever person out there let me know if it is grammatically correct to follow a

The Mystery Is Solved...

2007-01-26T23:12:00.000Z

Dear Sirs, I would like to object in the strongest possible terms to your link to my blog. It is most impolite to creep up on somebody after a barely coherent rant on one of her favourite topics, and invite a host of right-wing readers to identify with it. I now feel obliged to defend the liberal sentiment of my position, which will require a new post paying more detailed attention to the

The Tyranny of Stats...

2007-01-25T08:26:00.000Z

Looking at my stats last night (look, I've not been blogging long and so this stats thing is still new and exciting to me - I'm sure I'll grow out of it, but in the meantime please bear with me) I notice that there has been a flurry of activity over the past few days from timesonline. So naturally I checked out the website, and I can't find any reference, however tangential, that would be

On Therapy Culture...

2007-01-24T11:07:00.000Z

I was listening to a clever woman from Marie Stopes on the Today programme yesterday talking about waiting times for abortions. I was making sandwiches for lunch-boxes, toast for breakfast and applying mascara with that second pair of hands that parents develop in the morning, but I was still enjoying listening to the discussion. I was in agreement with pretty much everything she said:

Why Oh Why Oh Why...?

2007-01-23T06:45:00.000Z

I think what is missing from my children’s lives is the opportunity to bathe in a cocktail of chemicals every evening, inhaling noxious fumes and plastering the tiles with gunk. I can’t believe I have been depriving them of this luxury for so long. So thank goodness for Gelli Baff, a new product currently being advertised on children’s TV. I have ordered a shed-load to make up for my previously

On Mothers and Daughters (Part II)

2007-01-21T21:26:00.000Z

I have had a strange and emotional weekend. My sisters and I took our mother to London to celebrate her 70th birthday. We left our father at home, on the pretext that it was to be a ‘girly weekend’ but in reality because they are difficult individuals who become intolerable when a pair. So a girly weekend it was, with the brother we were staying with elevated to honorary girly status and his

Therapy By Numbers...

2007-01-17T10:57:00.000Z

I spent the weekend on a training course. I am usually ultra-selective about the training I attend, and I’m still not sure how this one slipped through the net, but it wasn’t until my bum was firmly on the seat that I realised it was going to be a ‘Janet and John do therapy’ session. Oh, bugger. Too late to leave. I have a mantra that I chant quietly to myself on such courses: keep your

Who Needs Psychotherapy...?

2007-01-16T21:09:00.001Z

Forget in-depth psychotherapy. Find out who you really are with this sophisticated personality test. I couldn't quite decide between two pictures, but I felt this captured me quite well....You are sexy, powerful, and bold.You're full of passion and energy...Sometimes this passion has a dark side.You feel most alive when you're seducing someone.You never fail to get someone's attention.Quick

Ladies or prostitutes...?

2007-01-15T19:05:00.000Z

Prison warder from Sudbury Open prison, being interviewed on the radio:I saw two females leaving the prison first thing in the morning. They had clearly been there all night. I am not sure if they were prostitutes or ladies.Here is a tip: ladies wear tiaras and fox fur stoles, whilst prostitutes wear bright red lipstick and suspender belts. Hope this helps...

Who Is Defending Our Civil Liberties..?

2007-01-14T21:45:00.000Z

The House of Lords may look like a bunch of old duffers, but they are currently doing a sterling job of preserving our civil liberties by forcing amendments to the government’s Mental Health Bill. There are two key proposals in the Mental Health Bill that we should be extremely concerned about: the removal of the ‘treatability’ clause and the extension of powers of compulsory treatment to those

Public Service Announcement...

2007-01-13T16:46:00.000Z

…That’s So Pants has written the best post I have read in a long time, on Women Who Write (as opposed to women writers.) Please read it.

How Our Heroes Let Us Down...

2007-01-09T19:49:00.000Z

I was having quite a good day today, having finally reconciled myself to being wrenched from the bosom of my sofa and thrust back into the world of work. And then the secretary at work took me quietly into her office to show me this. Now you know that I know that disillusionment is an integral part of the human experience, and that we eventually have to abandon our idealised objects in order to

On Multiple Selves...

2007-01-07T21:25:00.000Z

I am feeling out of sorts at the moment. Not quite myself. I feel bleak. Perhaps even melancholic. I know it is the time of year and that most people feel at their lowest ebb in the middle of our dark, grey winters. I just don’t like it when I don't feel like the me that I know best. Psychology has not escaped the influence of post-modernism and contemporary psychotherapy is rather abandoning

I Feel A Serious Post Coming On....

2007-01-06T23:04:00.000Z

Checking my stats I notice that I have quite a few folks landing on my blog having googled 'how to be a psychotherapist'. I can only imagine the disappointment they feel when they come across sentimental posts about my family, the odd bit of pinko ranting and my idealising transference of 80's indie pop figures. May I take this opportunity to apologise for wasting their precious time...

I Fancy A Change For 2007...

2007-01-05T23:56:00.000Z

What I really want to do is lose 10lbs and drink 3 gallons of water a day until my skin is clear. And then I remember that I just can't be arsed. So I thought I would change the look of my blog instead. Hope you like it.

What Is Ken Russell Doing???

2007-01-05T22:43:00.000Z

I can't help wondering whether having a stroke live on national TV is actually preferable to becoming an honorary member of the Goody family...

Please Form An Orderly Queue Here.....

2007-01-04T11:28:00.001Z

Radio 4 did what it does best with The E Generation at 40 last night. I was most interested to hear that researchers are currently working on the therapeutic use of Ecstasy in the treatment of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I can’t wait. It would certainly make my work even more fun than it is already, as, being a relational therapist, I would be ethically obliged to take it myself. Keep working

Happy Times This Christmas...

2007-01-04T09:48:00.000Z

I am a fan of anything that kids and parents can enjoy together – The Simpsons, rollercoasters, hash cookies – and Guitar Hero ticks all the boxes. For the uninitiated this is a PS2 game where you simulate rock riffs with a real-life (well, plastic) guitar which attaches to the console. The four of us played for many an hour and I discovered that firstly, I am a very

Gotta Get Yourself Connected...

2006-12-27T21:34:00.000Z

I am heading off for a New Year jaunt tomorrow, staying with a lovely friend in the middle of bloody nowhere. Not only does she not have wireless connection, but I have just discovered she has no internet connection at all. How do people cope? I shall take my laptop anyway, so if anybody spots a desperate looking woman driving around the Forest of Dean with a laptop on her knee, it's just me

Morrissey is my hero...

2006-12-21T01:02:00.000Z

My Christmas celebrations will begin in earnest on Friday evening when I schlep over to Manchester to see Morrissey. (In concert, you realise. He has not invited me over for tea at his mother’s, more’s the pity.) I have loved Morrissey forever, or at least since I first heard This Charming Man and fell under the spell of the man with the gladioli in his pocket. I naively assume that everyone

On Being a Mother...

2006-12-17T20:55:00.001Z

I was sitting at the kitchen table with my 11-year-old son, discussing his Christmas list which he had sourced himself on the internet due to his mother’s terrible lack of organisational skills. “You can get all of it on Amazon,” he was telling me, “and if you go for the second-hand options I can get five PS2 games and five books. And of course a surprise” he added, with a frown. It was

Blair's cynicism: part one...

2006-12-16T13:21:00.000Z

You could be forgiven for not knowing that this week the government announced wide scale closures of urban Post Offices. Perhaps this was the Bad News that they have been apparently burying all week, although given that these closures will primarily affect the frail elderly and the disabled I somehow doubt it. Small, local post offices provide an essential community service: for many

John Humphrys Spoiled My Day...

2006-12-14T13:06:00.000Z

I was driving over the moors last week on my usual trip to work. It was a clear, sunny day and I was pondering how bleak could also be beautiful when I spotted it: a Red Kite, hovering about 40 feet off the ground just ahead of me. I pulled over to savour the experience. I enjoyed a few moments of sweet melancholy (of the ‘I wish I was a Red Kite – life would be so simple’ variety) which then

LOL!!!! :))

2006-12-14T10:56:00.000Z

Before I started blogging I used to get quite irritated with the annoying little icons, smiley faces, ‘LOL’ type comments , indiscriminate use of exclamation marks! and the ‘god, aren’t I funny!!!’ implication of several exclamation marks in email communication. But I think I understand now. Psychology tells us that most of our communication is non-verbal (I can’t be bothered researching the